Issue #7

Behaviors Discussed in this Issue:

  • Why Children Are Followers

  • Why Children Lose Focus Early In the Morning

  • Why Children Lose Focus after Lunch

  • Why Children Are Forgetful

  • Why Children Have No Friends


Why Children Are Followers

Academic Possibilities:  Children may follow others in academics when it comes to group projects.  Since they have to work together, normally one person needs to be the leader.  For most children, this can be extremely difficult.  They do not want to make the academic decisions of how the project will be done.  This may be due to shyness, lack of confidence or simply a fear of not being accepted for their ideas.

Environment Possibilities:  Learning to be a leader can come from many sources.  For some children, the authority figures in their lives represent independent thinkers.  Yet for others, they see their parents and relatives as people who follow the trend.  Children see this as a normal way of life and thereby follow the leaders rather than leading on their own.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Most leaders are smart.  When you have limited intellectual ability, others are not going to follow in your path.  Consequently, it becomes much easier to follow the group rather than try to impose your own beliefs because no one will probably listen to what you have to say. Also, children with below average intellectual ability may not be able to lead because of the creative nature of being a leader.  A leader may have to come up with new ideas and be quick on his or her feet.  This is something that would create great difficulty for children with intellectual deficiencies.

Language Possibilities:  In order to be a leader, it is necessary to communicate one’s ideas.  Children with language difficulties may feel very uncomfortable speaking their minds or opposing viewpoints because of their difficulty with language.  Consequently, it becomes much easier to be a follower rather than speaking and trying to get others to follow them.

Medical Possibilities:  Not applicable

Perceptual Possibilities:  Not applicable

Psychological Possibilities: Some children do not feel secure enough to be a leader.  They lack the internal strength to stand up and lead others.  In the process, they are mentally much more comfortable following the pack rather than being a leader.  Being a leader involves an inner sense of confidence in one’s self.  For most children, they are too afraid to voice their opinions because they just want to be accepted-not rock the boat.  Creating controversy and trying to lead others in a different direction can be too threatening, and will be satisfied simply by “being a follower”.

Social Possibilities:  Socially, most kids just want to fit in with the crowd. They don’t want to be the “stars of the class”. They just do not want to be picked on or made fun of by their peers.  For safety purposes, it becomes much easier for them to follow the leaders of the group rather than step up on their own and speak their minds.  This keeps them socially “in the crowd” and makes them feel secure within their peer group.

What to Do When This Happens

  • Have a 1 to 1 conversation with the child to discuss how the child is doing and how he feels about himself.
  • Give the child tasks which you know he can excel at.  In the process, boost the child’s academic self-confidence so that future learning is something he wants to take part in.
  • Have a class lecture on feelings and emotions and how it is important to discuss why you should talk about how you feel to those who care about you.
  • Provide all forms of positive reinforcement to the child.  These techniques can be provided by the school psychologist or other teachers within your school.
  • Contact the school psychologist about the possibility of having  the child in a group to help promote self-esteem.
  • Contact the parents to see if anything recent at home has greatly affected the child’s self-esteem.
  • If necessary, discuss with the school psychologist about the possibility of setting up a behavior modification program for the child in the classroom so that reinforcement is delivered in an appropriate manner.
  • If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation is appropriately evaluated.


Why Children Lose Focus Early In the Morning

Academic Possibilities:  Some children, just like adults, are not “morning people”.  They do not have the physical and mental energy to deal with important things early in the morning.  For some children, they lose focus early in the school day because academics are too intense for this part of the day.  They will do well in the afternoon subjects but just cannot get going academically early.

Environmental Possibilities:  Children in homes which are dysfunctional, neglectful, and abusive or without boundaries may not get enough sleep at night.  They may be getting only 5 or 6 hours of rest, all of which may be anxiety driven.  In the process, they come to school very tired and cannot focus on things because they were not rested the prior night.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Some children have limited abilities regarding concentration levels.  Children with limited intelligence may not have the mental energy to stay on task early in the morning because the requirements are too much to handle early on in the day.

Language Possibilities:  Not applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Children with certain types of medical conditions may be very drowsy during the early parts of the day.  They appear to lose focus early on because physiologically they have not yet adjusted to the new day.  Also, some children may take medication first thing in the morning which may have side effects of fatigue, drowsiness, and inability to focus.

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with perceptual difficulties may take longer to get things done than other children.  Although they may appear to be having focusing problems early in the morning, the fact is that they are having difficulties adjusting to what is being required of them to do.

Psychological Possibilities:  Children with numerous problems at home, suffering from depression or having anxiety problems will often not be able to focus on things either early in the morning.  The fact is, when children are preoccupied with psychological problems, their ability to focus is greatly hindered.

Social Possibilities:  Children come to school for many reasons. However, most will tell you that they enjoy playing with their friends.  Socially, they want to hang with their friends and not want do work.  When they first come to school, they want to talk about what they are doing and what will go on in the day.  In the process, they do not have any focus early on in the day because they are so wrapped up in the social activities of the past, present, and future.

What to Do When This Happens

  • Give the child more chances for light hearted activities (e.g.; story time and free play, etc.)early in the morning, then after about 15 minutes, get him to be settled down and start work.
  • Use a reward system for those children who do settle down at the beginning of the day.  By doing this, the child may realize that his behavior is inappropriate and will want to be rewarded also.
  • If this is a problem for many of the children in your class, try to save the more interesting activities and topics for first thing in the day.
  • Get the more important academic subjects out of the way in the afternoon so that the morning is set up for more free creative time.
  • Establish group activities first thing in the morning.
  • Ask other teachers about various motivational techniques that they have used to keep children’s focus at the start of the day.
  • If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation be appropriately evaluated.


Why Children Lose Focus after Lunch

Academic Possibilities:  Some children, just like adults, are “morning people”.  They have the physical and mental energy to deal with important things early in the morning but burn out after lunch.  For some children, they lose focus later in school because academics are too intense for this part of the day.  They will do well in the morning subjects but just cannot get going academically later in the day.

Environmental Possibilities:  Children in homes which are dysfunctional, neglectful, and abusive or absent of boundaries may have great anxiety about going home.  They start to think about going home to a place which is neither safe nor fun for them.  In the process, they lose focus over afternoon activities because their minds are totally focused on what will happen after they leave school.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Some children have limited abilities regarding concentration levels.  Children with limited intelligence may not have the mental energy to stay on task later in the day because they have “maxed out” by the time lunch has come.

Language Possibilities:  Not applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Children with certain types of medical conditions may be very drowsy during the later parts of the day.  Also, many children will take medication after lunch, which may have side effects of fatigue, drowsiness, and inability to focus.  Finally, some children may eat heavy lunches.  Physiologically, this can create tiredness and fatigue, all of which will lead to an inability to focus after lunch.

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with perceptual difficulties may take longer to get things done than other children.  Although they may appear to be having focusing problems later in the day, the fact is that they are having difficulties adjusting to what is being required of them to do once they start the second half of the day after lunch.

Psychological Possibilities:  Children with numerous problems at home, suffering from depression or having anxiety problems will often not be able to focus on things later in the day.  The fact is, when children are hit with psychological problems, their ability to focus is greatly hindered no matter what part of the day they are in. Further, children with severe emotional problems become drained as the day progresses since their psychic energy is used in battling emotional turmoil. As a result they eventually “burn out” and have no “gas” left for activities later in the day.

Social Possibilities:  Children come to school for many reasons. However, most will tell you that they enjoy playing with their friends.  Socially, they want to hang with their friends and not do work.  After lunch, all they can think about is what they will be doing after school is over.  In the process, they lose the ability to focus after lunch because they are so wrapped up in their social life which will begin after classes are done.

What to Do When This Happens

  • Give the child more chances for light hearted activities (e.g.; story time and free play, etc.) after lunch, then after about 15 minutes, get him to be settled down and start work.
  • Use a reward system for those children who do settle down after lunch.  By doing this, the child may realize that his behavior is inappropriate and will want to be rewarded also.
  • If this is a problem for many of the children in your class, try to save the more interesting activities and topics until after lunch.
  • Get the more important academic subjects out of the way in the morning so that the afternoon is set up for more free creative time.
  • Establish group activities for after lunch.
  • Ask other teachers about various motivational techniques that they have used to keep children’s focus at the end of the day.
  • If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation be appropriately evaluated.


Why Children Are Forgetful

Academic Possibilities:  Some children hate school so much that they forget what it is they need to do.  They fail at academics and thereby forget what is required of them for class work and/or homework. This “selective forgetting” may be an avoidance of what they see as potential failure situations.

Environmental Possibilities:  Children who come from homes with many problems have many worries and concerns.  Trying to remember what to do for homework or when an assignment is due is not even important to them at the present time.  Because of the problems experienced at home, these children are forgetful in everything that they do because of the number of issues they have on their minds.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Children with limited intelligence may have problems with memory. Memory problems can obviously play a critical role in the forgetting of information, assignments, due dates, etc.

Language Possibilities:  Children with language difficulties may not have a problem forgetting, yet they appear to do so.  What this means is that they may never have understood what the assignment was, due to the fact that they did not understand the directions.  As such, rather than admit that they do not understand what is going on in the classroom, they state that they forgot to do what was required of them.

Medical Possibilities: Children with Attention Deficit Disorder may have great difficulties remembering things because of their inattention.  Also, children on medication may have difficulties with remembering because the side effects of the medication cause forgetting to be a possibility.

Perceptual Possibilities: Children with perceptual difficulties may not have a problem forgetting, yet they appear to do so.  What this means is that they may never have understood what the assignment was, due to the fact that they did not understand the directions.  As such, rather than admit that they do not understand what is going on in the classroom, they state that they forgot to do what was required of them.

Psychological Possibilities:  Issues of self-esteem, denial, depression, anxiety, and   fear are all possible reasons why children may be forgetful.  More often than not, if forgetting is not due to a medical problem, children forget because they are preoccupied with certain things in their lives.  Being anxious or depressed gives children little energy to do anything else.  In the process, they psychologically are drained, and thereby cannot take in any new information which shows up symptomatically as forgetting.

Social Possibilities:  Some children forget what to do because they are so involved in their thought processes with their social calendar.  They are thinking about everything that will go on outside of the classroom.  Because they are so concerned with the extracurricular activities, they become forgetful when it come to school work.

What to Do When This Happens

  • Check with the school nurse and the child’s parents to be sure that there is no medical problem which may be causing the difficulty with memory.
  • Try to reduce the amount auditory or visual stimuli in the classroom do that the child does not have too many things to remember or memorize.
  • Reinforce the student with verbal praise when he remembers.
  • Try to get involved with what the student is doing when he has to stay on task.  By interacting with him, you may give him a greater chance of focusing on what he has to do.
  • Have the student work in groups with students whom you know have very good attention spans.
  • Have the student write down what it is exactly that he must do.  Often, children who cannot stay on task will forget what they were required to do because they have been focusing on other stimuli.  By having the directions written down, it enables the child to get back on track and maintain his original focus.
  • Seat the child in the front of the class so that he will have a greater chance of not being distracted by the other stimuli within the room.
  • Offer the student extra help before or after school to deal with his memory.
  • If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation be appropriately evaluated.


Why Children Have No Friends

Academic Possibilities:  Children may have no friends because of either extremely higher low academic ability.  Some children are so smart that other children can not relate to them.  In the same light, children who perform poorly in school may not be able to make friends because they are either devoting all of their energy towards keeping up in the classroom or they are shunned by the other kids because of their low class grades.

Environment Possibilities:  Some children may not have any friends because their environment does not give them the opportunity to make them.  For example, children who are forbidden to go outside after school by their parents may not have the chance to make strong bonds with kids in the neighborhood.  Also, some children may live in a neighborhood with no children to play with in the area.  Consequently, they have no friends in their lives, not because of who they are or what they do, but rather because there is no one around to play within their age group.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Children with intellectual problems may be in special classes and even separate classrooms from their peers.  Consequently, they find it difficult to make friends because they are not doing the classwork that the others are doing, and they do not understand what the others are doing anyway.  Their intellectual limitations create problems with having a common bond with many of the other kids in their age group.

Language Possibilities: If children cannot communicate their ideas to others or their feelings, they may feel too insecure to try and make friends.  Also, if the language problem is evident such as stuttering, these children may be made fun of by others causing them to be embarrassed, and thereby avoid attempting to make friends.

Medical Possibilities:  Some children have serious medical problems.  Their problems require them being out from school for long periods of time. They miss many events and opportunities to make friends.  Consequently, they are not around the other children long enough to make strong friendships.

Another reason could be that the other children may turn away from children with medical problems because they do not understand them.  For example, a child in a wheelchair or a child who is blind may have limit friends not because of who they are but sadly because the other children may not make the effort to become friends with them due to their lack of understanding of disabilities.

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with perceptual problems may not be able to keep up with others.  Things that come so easily for most children require much more work for those with perceptual difficulties.  Since they cannot keep pace, the other children may not want to be friends with them.  They are different and therefore struggle all the time to try to get and maintain friendships.

Psychological Possibilities:  Many children have no friends because they lack self-confidence and self-esteem.  Their low opinions of themselves cause them to retreat and feel insecure about their self-worth.  Other times, children have no friends because they have deep rooted psychological problems and can be very obnoxious.  This causes other children to want to avoid them because they represent trouble.

Social Possibilities:  Some children do not have the appropriate skills to be able to interact with groups.  One on one they may be fine, but in social situations, they fail.  Children who have this problem will tend to be shunned by the majority of their classmates and kept isolated from everyone else.

What to Do When This Happens

  • Try to determine whom it is in the classroom who might be able to become friends with the child.
  • Then, sit this child next to the child without any friends.  This makes spark a friendship or put him at ease.
  • If this does not work, have a conference with the child to discuss the reasons why he has such difficulties making friends.
  • Try to get the child to become involved in more group activities.  If he is put into small groups he may be able to relate better than what he currently has the capability to do.
  • Within the class, try to rotate groups every few weeks so that the child gets the chance to meet all the children in the class in a small and comfortable setting.
  • Have class lectures on sharing, unity, and the value of making friends.
  • Ask the child to write a paragraph describing himself so that you may get a better understanding of this child ideas and thoughts.
  • Discuss this situation with the school psychologist.  There may be a need to get this child into group therapy or even individual therapy both in and out of school.
  • If necessary, contact the parents to discuss why the child has no friends.  Perhaps there are underlying circumstances which you nor anyone in the school is aware of at the present time.
  • If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation is appropriately evaluated.


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