Issue #15

BEHAVIOR MANAGEMENT SERIES

Issue # 15

Behaviors Discussed in this Issue:

• Why Children Ask A Great Deal Of Questions

• Why Some Children Cannot Remain Seated

• Why Children Have Problems With Sharing

• Why Children Steal

• Why Children Make Up Stories

Why Children Ask A Great Deal Of Questions

Academic Possibilities: Academic confusion resulting from learning disabilities, academic anxiety, concrete thinking, difficulty with abstract concepts and so on may motivate the child to ask constant questions. However, keep in mind that many children with the same factors may withdraw and never ask any questions.

Environmental Possibilities:  Children may resort to frequent questions as a result of several possible environmental factors. First, a child may come from a home where questions and curiosity are fostered. This is usually determined by the type and level of questions asked by the child. If the question is a higher level question used to resolve a curiosity or confusion, then this may be the motive. However, if the questions are disconnected, basic, concrete, repetitive and so on, then the motive may be something else. In this case, the child may be motivated by an emptiness and lack of parental intervention or attention. Another possible motive is to maintain a captive audience through constant questioning, since one may not be available at home.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Children with limited intellectual ability and concrete thinking patterns may become easily confused by directions of any kind and may resort to constant questions because they are just lost. If this is the case examine the level and type of presentation.

Language Possibilities:  Children with receptive language disorders and bilingual children who may need constant clarification or assistance with language and word labels may resort to constant questions.

Medical Possibilities: Not Applicable

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with processing problems will ask many questions in an attempt to slow down the time for an answer. In processing information more slowly, these children tend to become anxious about reaction for the time they are taking and resort to repeated questions to prevent the discomfort of the other person. However, other times constant questions are utilized by children with processing deficits because they cannot get the concept and try many avenues to comprehend what is required. The use of many and a variety of questions may be an attempt to gain more information to assist the delayed processing.

Psychological Possibilities: Children who are in great need of attention will utilize constant questions as a means of maintaining the spot light. Being in the spotlight for such children wards off feelings of insignificance. Other children may ask many questions because their anxiety levels are so high that they cannot retain the information even especially in tasks requiring short term memory.

Social Possibilities:  Some children may resort to constant questions in an attempt to gain social status and recognition.

What To Do When This Happens

• Sit down with the student and discuss what you are seeing.  Explain to him that although you appreciate his interest, his questions are becoming excessive and need to be limited.
• Give the child the opportunity to explains side of the story.  It is very important that you find out why he is asking questions all the time.  Is it because he does not understand assignments?  Needs excessive attention? etc.
• Try to get involved with the student as much as possible so that the potential for excessive questions is limited.
• Have the student sit next to a peer whom can help him out and who may be able to answer questions for him.
• Let the student participate as much as possible in class discussions so that he feels that he is getting the attention he needs.
• Contact the parents if the situation warrants it.  Find out from them if this is a behavior specific to school or whether he does this at home.
• When the child isn’t asking numerous questions and working independently, praise him for his great behavior.
• When the child begins to ask excessive questions, be sure to act immediately to let the child know that the behavior is not acceptable.
• If necessary, discuss with the school psychologist about the possibility of setting up a behavior modification program for the child in the classroom so that reinforcement is delivered in an appropriate manner.
• If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation is appropriately evaluated.

Why Some Children Cannot Remain Seated

Academic Possibilities: Academic frustration is probably the most common academic reason why children cannot remain in their seat. When a child is confronted with work in which he feels inadequate, any avoidance is better than sitting. Getting up to get a drink, go to the bathroom, throw out papers, walk up to the teacher and ask some inane question etc. may all be the result of needing to avoid an ego deflating academic situation.

Environmental Possibilities:  Some children who come from homes where limits and guidelines are lax may feel as if he can  do anything he feels at any time. Such children have not yet incorporated internal controls that are usually presented by parenting skills that provide cause and effect responses, fair but consistent boundaries, repercussions for inappropriate behavior, and rewards for appropriate behaviors.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Children with limited intellectual ability may lose interest quickly and need to get up to ease their frustration.

Language Possibilities: Not Applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Children who are always on the go , have a hard time sitting still or remain in their seats may be reacting this way as a result of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. Some children who have difficulty seeing the board due to vision problems may get up to see what is on the board. Also, some medications may have side effects that can create impulsivity and a high activity level i.e. antihistamines.

Perceptual Possibilities: Some children who have temporal (time), spatial (space), organizational difficulties may not see a problem in getting up regularly to do something. The child’s internal organization may be so dysfunctional that cause and effect processing may be missing.

Psychological Possibilities:  Children with very high levels of internal tension or nervous tension may not be able to sit still for long periods of time. When this internal tension get to high it drains away energy used for patience, focus, ability to attend, concentration, and judgment.

Social Possibilities: Some children may get up constantly to visit a friend, go past someone he likes, go past someone for purposes of antagonism, pass notes, get reassurance, or hope to be noticed.

What To Do When This Happens

• Contact the school psychologist to find out whether the child has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and has ever been in special education.
• Contact the school nurse just to check that the child is not on any medication for his hyperactivity (i.e.; Ritalin).
• Assuming neither of the above, then sit the child down and discuss with him why he can not remain seated.  Many children who do this may be either bored or seeking attention in some way.
• Have a discussion with the school psychologist about how to deal with this situation.  Psychologists are usually very trained in this area and have numerous behavioral intervention plans to help teachers when a child is impulsive.
• Explain the class rules to the child and what is and is not appropriate.  It is possible that this child has not had the type of structure necessary for this grade level.
• Because children with high activity levels often have great difficulty remaining seated, it is imperative that you plan ahead and expect his behavior to occur.  You should have a plan about what you will do if his hyperactivity affects the class, and then enforce the appropriate punishment if it occurs.
• Contact the parents if the situation gets out of hand to a point where it is seriously affecting the child’s social, emotional or academic functioning.
• DO NOT DISCUSS THE IDEA OF MEDICATION WITH THE PARENTS!!  This is not your role nor your area of expertise.  Although you may feel that medication is appropriate, you are not the professional to make the recommendation.
• If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation is appropriately evaluated.

Why Children Have Problems With Sharing

Academic Possibilities:  There are children who will not share anything academically because of a competitive nature they have regarding academics.  Sharing homework, materials or anything else could help another student to do well.  For some children, they must be the best in school and will therefore never help out or share with other kids anything involving academic nature.

Environmental Possibilities:  Sharing is a concept which needs to be learned.  In some homes, sharing is never done.  Children get what they want whenever they want it and have to share with no one.  When these children enter school, they can be very selfish.  Their lack of knowledge on how to share creates a situation where they do not share in school.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Some children with lower levels of intelligence nay have great difficulty in sharing.  They do not grasp the concept that sharing is important that he may need to share with others in the future.

Language Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with perceptual problems may be on the defensive more often than not.  Because of their insecurity of how they see the world they may not want to open up to anyone.  This type of attitude can lead to a general lack of sharing with anything.

Psychological Possibilities:  There numerous psychological reasons why children may not want to share. A child could be very self-centered with tendencies towards narcissism.  Other children may not want to share because of low self-esteem and insecurity.  For others, the anxiety levels of sharing anything  (e.g.; food) can be very severe if there are tendencies towards obsessive compulsive disorder.

Social Possibilities:  Some children do not understand social rules.  Part of being in society means sharing.  In games we play at school we will often have to share as a team.  For those children who cannot do this, it may be more about not understanding the societal norms rather than any deep psychological or academic issue.

What To Do When This Happens

• At the beginning of the school year, have a lesson on sharing and what is expected of all students in the classroom.
• Try to create assignments that involve sharing with others.  Get the students involved with each other so theater sharing becomes a natural part of the day.
• Talk with the student about why sharing is so difficult for him.  Why does he need to keep everything to himself?  His answer may be indicative of a problem much deeper than you thought.
• When working in groups, let this student be the leader of the group.  Allow for him to delegate who will work with whom and what materials need to be shared.
• Sit the student near a student who is not selfish.  By doing this, the student may model the behavior of his peer.
• Compliment and verbally praise the student when you notice that he is sharing appropriately.
• Do not be critical of the student when you first talk with him.  He may actually not know how to share and needs to be taught.  Explain to him that you are only trying to help him.  If he does not learn how to share it can create future problems which you do not want to see him have.
• Contact the parents to find out if the child has problems sharing at home.  Explain to them that you want to be consistent with home and school.
• Discuss with the student that if his behavior of not sharing does not change, then he will not be allowed to bring in anything from home that he is not willing to share with others.
• Try to share with the student whenever possible.  By doing so, you are being a model for the child.
• Sometimes, a student can be concerned that if he shares with others, he will never get his stuff back.  Explain to him that this is not the case.  Sharing involves borrowing from others and then returning them.  Therefore, when you notice this child sharing, be sure that he gets back whatever it is that he gave to another student.

Why Children Steal

Academic Possibilities:  Due to frustrations that children may be experiencing in the classroom, they may displace it on authority figures through destructive behaviors.  One such example of this which is common in children is stealing.

Environment Possibilities:  The environment can play a very important role in children stealing from others.  First, who are the role models within the children’s lives?  Is there a big brother/sister who engages in this type of behavior?  Is there parental supervision of the children when they come home from school?  Finally, what is the neighborhood like with respect to stealing and the values placed on it?  All of these questions need to be explored when determining possible environmental causes for stealing. Stealing may also be a way of getting attention especially if the child is so obvious about getting caught.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Some children may not have the intellectual ability to understand the ramifications and consequences of stealing. Their low IQ prevents them from mentally processing what will happen to them if they follow through on their destructive actions.

Language Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Perceptual Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Psychological Possibilities:  Some children may steal because it is their way of displacing their anger towards other things.  More often than not, they do not “need” the things they are actually stealing.  Stealing gives them an unconscious satisfaction that they are not getting somewhere else in their lives.  Also, some children may steal because their overall moral judgment about what behaviors are/are not acceptable is well below the normal limits when compared to those of their age group.

Social Possibilities:  Socially, some children may steal because their friends are doing it.  Often, children may go into a local store with a group of friends and one will dare someone else to take something.  Being accepted is critical for many children so they steal whatever is asked of them by their friends in order to be “one of the gang”.

What To Do When This Happens

• Before taking any action, obtain all the information about the situation at hand. You do not want to jump to any conclusions or make false accusations.
• If you believe that the child has stolen , do not address the situation in front of any other child or adult. This will avoid embarrassing the child.  If  you do it in front of anyone, you increase the chances of the child not telling the truth because he will not want to be “publicly humiliated”.
• If you are reasonably sure that stealing has taken place, do not use entrapment. This means that you do not try to trick the student.
• Be very diplomatic and direct in confronting the child with what you know to be the facts. Explain the situation in a clear, convincing, and straight forward approach without any form of yelling or screaming.  Be firm in what you say and show the student that you are serious.
• After explaining your point of view, ask the child if he now wants to rethink what he did. Don’t put him on the spot at that moment if he says nothing in response. Tell him that “We will talk about this again some time today when you are ready but we will definitely talk about it today.”
• If the child admits to stealing, say that you appreciate the honesty, and then tell him what the consequences of the behavior will be. This should be something already determined by you, and “the punishment should fit the crime.”
• Finally, if the child does not admit to stealing , you must then act as if it were true, based on the overwhelming evidence, and enforce the consequences. Tell the child in this case that the evidence indicates that lying did take place and that class rules have been violated.

Why Children Make Up Stories

Academic Possibilities:  Children who get poor grades may have a tendency to lie about their performance.  This is most often due to embarrassment on their part.  Their academic failure can create anxiety on their part about how they will be perceived by others.  Consequently, they make up stories to emotionally survive their academic inadequacies.

Environmental Possibilities:  Some children live in homes where the main goal is to “be the best”.  For most of these children, that will never be possible.  Yet, it is the only way they are accepted by their parents.  To survive, when they do poorly on an exam or get in trouble, they know that if they tell the truth they will be yelled at, punished or maybe something even more severe. Therefore, they make up stories in order to deal with the fact that in order to please their parents they must excel at everything that they do.

Intellectual Possibilities:  Same motives as Social and Perceptual

Language Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Medical Possibilities:  Not Applicable

Perceptual Possibilities:  Children with perceptual problems may have difficulty reading.  In the process, they may make up stories about what they have read because they were not able to read nor comprehend what they were assigned to read.

Psychological Possibilities:  Some children have a psychological need to make up stories.  It gives them a sense of power in their lives.  For some, the stories are harmless and are being used only to try and show people how good they are.  Yet, for others, the stories can be quite problematic.  The stories turn into lies and then there becomes a need to keep lying because this is all that they know.

Social Possibilities:  Some children will make up stories because they want their peers to like them better. They will tell them about all of the great accomplishments they have done or all the cool things they are going to do.  This need to impress their friends may be due to social insecurities and not feeling comfortable enough with themselves for who they are.  This leads them to make up stories about their lives.

What To Do When This Happens

• Get the child alone and discuss why you believe that he is making up stories.
• If the child gives you a good explanation, accept it, and talk to him about why you want him to tell the truth.
• Give the child an opportunity to write creative stories.  In this way, he can channel his imagination into something constructive.
• Reward the child for honesty and for telling the truth.
• Explain to the child about establishing a reputation with others.  Making up stories can be very detrimental to his future reputation and be harmful to making friends.
• Determine if the stories are harmful or if it is just a good imagination.  If it is simply imagination, you may be able to ignore the behavior unless it gets out of hand.
• If the child denies making up stories, discuss the class rules for lying.
• If the stories persist to a point of lying, see this book for LYING.
• Contact the school psychologist if the making up of stories persists to a point where you believe the child either actually believes what he is saying or cannot stop his behavior.
• Call the parents and discuss the situation with them.  It may be important to see whether this problem only occurs in school or if it is a daily occurrence throughout the child’s home and academic life.
• If the problem persists to the point where it is affecting the child’s everyday functioning, his situation should be brought up to the Child Study Team in the school so that his situation is appropriately evaluated.

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